somebody stop me

My dear, wonderful husband, father to my 4 babes, sweet talker that he is, double-dog dared me to post my weight and weight loss nightmares on this here blog.  Actually he told me I better, or it was all over.  No, really he told me I was a big chicken if I didn't.  No, really he told me that the whole world would love me if I did it.

He is a sweet talker like that.

And I have this little dream that the whole world will love me.  really.

Then, he tripple-dog dared me to post pictures too.

See, but this is the problem.  I never finish anything.  Seriously.  I have this little diary from when I was like 8.  It has a grand total of 3 entries.  Then I have this grown-up beautiful woman-journal from a few years ago and it has like 3 entries in it.  My kids baby books have like their footprints and 3 weight entries in it.  Then my baby, well, she is so neglected that she does not even have a mostly empty baby book.  I decided to stop the torture of guilt on my brain.  This is seriously just a drop in the barrel of my "unfinished" stories.

So, why would I want to go out into the world and broadcast my failure?  I think that HE thinks I will actually achieve my goals (and quit my whine-fest) if I put it ALL out there.  I am not certain that any of this is a good idea.  But, I don't like being called a chicken.  Fight'n words I tell ya!

Here is the background to this twisted story.  I never really had weight problems until after I had 3 babies in 3 years.  I was either nursing, pregnant or BOTH for a total of 4+ years.  I consumed lots of calories and it really didn't matter.  Then it stopped.  No nursing , not pregnant, bad habits remained.  The weight started on a steady incline.

I hit a low point last spring and joined weight watchers.  I lost 15 pounds.  I was half way to my goal and hit a stand-still.  I have gained some of that back and am ready to put this struggle to bed.  I am sick of thinking about it.  I am sick of not wanting to buy nice clothes because I am "going to lose this weight".  I am sick of trying to hide parts of my body and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.  I just want it done.

Let's just go ahead and call this the BEFORE picture, okay? okay.

Here I am in all my frizzy-headed, mascara under the eye, rolled-outa-bed beauty.  My name is Rachel and today I weighed 134.  (ha ha honey, you didn't think I would do it!!)

Stay tuned to see if Rachel will reach her goal of being the hottest mama of 4 this side of Toledo Bend.  Trust me, this could get interesting...